Mom Musings: Truth about Draining Breastfeeding Madness, Don't Judge Moms

Who just ate yummy milk?
The background was me moving in all my office essentials from the
city to the home office. This was another item on the to-do list. 

I confess … breastfeeding is the pits!

As I anxiously anticipate the arrival of my son, this summer, I shiver at the thought of sacrificing my sleep and sanity in order to feed him breast milk. I say “breast milk” because it’s been made VERY clear to me that I did not “breast feed” my daughter, last year.

Apparently, pumping, which provides the same exact nutritional value as does putting a baby to a breast, is not actual breastfeeding. Um, go F*^% yourself. My daughter received the same good stuff and I still had to work very, VERY hard to manage to survive the five months of +Medela madness.  

Sorry all you judgmental peeps, including the nurses at the hospital that nudged me to at least try to breastfeed because “skin to skin is so important for your connection to the baby”. My boobs belong to my husband! I’m in for making the milk, but the sucking part is coming from a glass bottle. We used Lifefactory, in case anyone is wondering.

But, I digress.

Breast feeding, round two. Yah or Nah?

Yes, breastfeeding / pumping is the pits. It was mentally and physically exhausting the first go around. I didn't help the matter by jumping back into work (albeit from home, most of the time). I even did a store appearance ten days after giving birth. (PS It was the grand opening of NessaLee Baby in Livingston, NJ. The store and the owners are amazing.) Oh, and I refused to get a nanny because I was flush with energy, initially, despite being up every three hours to first pump and then feed Ilana Rose.

L to R: Trying to look normal with +NessaLee Baby owners Jordan and Vanessa;
with EXTRA Wardrobe Stylist Julie Kozak;
with +Project Nursery  co-founder +Melisa Fluhr 

Of course, in keeping with my Always Be Your Best You philosophy, I did not walk around the house looking like a hot mess. Before the 6am feeding, makeup was applied, along with my post-partum, body-preservation creams.

Ilana Rose was doing great. I was calm, so she was calm. We go into a great schedule and in about 5 weeks or so she began to have wider gaps of “feed me” moments, at night. I, however, was still up pumping out the goods.

My brain was spinning. My body was flipping out. I felt like I was on drugs, and I've never taken drugs so really this was just what I assumed it felt like to be drugged out. I remember telling my sister and husband that I felt like someone was pumping helium into my brain because I felt foggy. Nothing seemed clear. Then, one day, the sh&t hit the fan.

I used to watch her sleep a lot. I should have listened to my mom
and mother-in-law and slept, as well! 

While feeding my daughter, I attempted to sing her some songs. But, who turned off the play list? I couldn't remember the words to anything! It was like a part of my brain was gone. Over the next few days, I noticed that I couldn't articulate my thoughts properly to anyone. And, then, the emotional madness hit. I couldn't control the tears. It was ridiculous.

Turns out, I was seriously sleep deprived. I skipped a few pumps at night, but then felt guilty because if you don’t do it you lose it! I tried to go on more walks. I pulled back on work (although, not nearly as much as I should have!). Then, my family stepped in and we got a nanny. The nanny cared for the baby, while my mother cared for me. Ya, that’s how bad it got.

I eventually decided to pump through the summer, use stored milk after that and slowly transition into formula.

Yes, breastfeeding is the pits. I had NO IDEA WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO! It’s impossible to breast feed, take care of a baby, manage your family and work the way I choose to work without proper help. Even then, the physical demands of being a milk factory are beyond comprehension to anyone who hasn't done it.

So, here comes number two.

For those who are wondering, yes, I plan to breastfeed my son. Oh, sorry, pump J. This time, I’m older (this past year basically equals ten years!) and wiser. I’m taking off July and August. My only work will be to be mommy. If the spirit moves me, I will blog. That’s it! I plan to go for about four or five months, but I’ll take it week by week.

My little peanut.

There is no denying that giving a baby breast milk is the best option. But, it’s very personal. Given everything that I've shared, you can imagine that it’s not something I can recommend. In fact, all I will say is this:

Do what works for your body and your family. If skin-to-skin is your game, great. If you want to pump into a machine and feed from a bottle, bottoms up. If you want to cabbage up your boobs (I’ll talk about that in a future post) and just do formula, fabulous. We shouldn't judge each other, because motherhood is a crazy job that we need to figure out and navigate as we see fit. And, of course, we need to do it with confidence, style and a little rough ;-).  You knew I would say that, right? 

P2 Family: Making a Birthday Hat and other Crafty Mom Musings

DIY cone hat for my daughter's 1st Birthday Party

In theory, I love to DIY. In reality, I don’t have the patience for reading long how-tos. Consequently, I wing-it, often times making the crafting process much harder. Now, I’m very artist – a gift I acquired from my late father. He could draw anything. (Side note: Let’s just say my elementary school projects were legendary.) But, I digress.

When my daughter was born, I had all these lofty ideas of what to make for her room, what to make for memories sake, what to make for the grandparents, etc. Many suggestions were shot down by my non-DIY loving husband. Many ideas never materialized because I didn’t allocate the time needed to properly create something, anything. This was going to change with Ilana Rose’s birthday approaching April 4th. I was determined to make a 1^st Birthday Party Hat.

I spend about $300 on supplies because I couldn't make up mind mind, and 

I needed basic crafting supplies. Don't worry, $250 of it is going back. 

With a vague idea of what I might need (see above about winging it), I heading to Michaels. The results are documented below. The memories are emblazoned in my heart. This wasn’t just about crafting, it really was about slowing down for two hours, Friday morning, and thinking about the past year as a new mom. I savored every minute of the cutting, folding, and gluing … and then Ilana woke up for her morning nap. Friday night, after dinner, I spent another thirty minutes wrapping up the project.

SUPPLIES

• Foam paper
• Craft paper
• Ribbons, pompoms, stickers, anything else that catches your eye at the craft store that might work as décor accents (a good return policy is essential, if you like to play with options!!)
• Faux flowers
• Glue stick, scissors, staple gun
• Downloadable cone shape

DIRECTIONS

• Download a cone hat shape. Print and cut out the shape.
• Decide on color scheme or theme. Mine was soft yellow, blush pink and Champaign (because I couldn’t find rose gold products). In keeping with our English garden, Tea Party theme, I wanted everything to feel romantic and elegant.
• Trace the cone shape on the foam and cut out the shape. I used foam as my base for the hat.* You can use it as the main hat and skip additional layering and gluing. (* Next time I'll use thicker stock paper, as foam is a bit trick and way too thick when you glue one end of the cone to the other.)
• Trace the cone shape onto the back of your craft paper, but don’t cut it out.
• Make slip cuts along the curved edge of the cone shape, on your craft paper. This helps make the final look neater.
• Glue the craft paper to the foam. Press and hold as you go, to get a permanent stick.
• If you are planning to have pompoms, feathers or other items at the tip of the cone, cut out a small bit from the top of your (still flat) cone hat.
• I used faux flowers as my ‘cherry on top’. Simply cut off the stem, leaving about an inch to wrap with strong tape and a rubber band.** (**I loved the look of the flowers, but next time I need something lighter. The weight was too much for my daughter's precious little head. I'll explain in an upcoming post about the dos/don'ts of baby photo shoots! You live and learn.) 
• Because my hat was rather thick and the flower ‘cherry on top’ was a pinch heavy, it was easier to warp and glue the cone with the ‘cherry on top’ flowers already being held inside vs. sticking them in after the cone was all glued. (However, I may try that the next time. Much like motherhood, I’m learning as I go.)
• I couldn’t find a pre-made number 1 that matched my color scheme, so I cut it out (using stencils – which isn’t winging-it, but I could heard my husband’s voice in my head and I knew stencils were the way to go).
• Decorate away. I purchased beautiful stickers from the Martha Stewart Crafts collection, to make life easier.
• To make her name stand out, I cut a strip of thick, yellow paper and made a band around the hat. The paper needs to be cut in the same degree as the cone, otherwise you will not get an even strip look. Math hasn’t been my strong suit in years, so eyeballing it/winging it meant this step took longer than necessary.
• In order to hide the tiny gap created on the back of my really thick hat, I added a bird slip. J Birds = garden = tea party. It makes thematic sense.
• Rather than use wire, which would have held the hat on my daughter’s head a heck of lot better during our photo shoot (more on that later), I opted for pretty yellow lace. Cut two equal pieces long enough to tie a bow around the neck. Attach one on each end with staples. Hide the staples with décor. I used flower stickers.
• Marvel in your glory. 

Faux flowers = My version of the "cherry on top" pompom for a birthday hat.

I knew the bird clips would come in handy!! Also, note to other
wanna-be DIYers: any "error" can be craftly corrected.

P2 Beauty: Stay at Home Mom Glow & Smile Style

As a newly crowned stay-at-home mom, – we let go of our nanny for reasons I will not share because my mother taught me not to promote negativity – I can truly speak to simple ways to live an Always Be Your Best You lifestyle because I get how precious time is and what we women need to do in order to carve out moments for ourselves.

In the morning, my daughter wakes up and claps or plays with her fingers for about 10-15 minutes. I firmly believe this is because a) my husband and I set a calm atmosphere around her and 2) we taught her that time alone isn't a bad thing. Those 10-15 minutes** give me time to do a good one-minute stretch, brush my teeth with my beloved Crest 3D White toothpaste (a bright smile is an essential accessory for a stylish, happy day) while practicing side and back leg lifts (I know you have to see this in video to understand), and put on my diamond, star-stud earrings.  Then, when Ilana goes down for her 9:00-10:30am nap, I quickly shower, rub some Mama Mio Tummy Rub Oil (baby #2 !!) and put on my home makeup look. Yes, I wear makeup at home even though nobody is around. It makes me feel wonderful and ready for the day. By 9:30am I’m at my desk, with the baby monitor by my side, and a laundry load already set and spinning.  

What do you do to feel beautiful at home?  Share your #SmileStyle solutions on Twitter, and tell me and @3DWhite how you steal the spotlight in your world.

** PS If you don’t have that 10-15 minute window of clap time, follow the sage advice of the fabulous June Ambrose – “wake before the quake”. I live for this rockstar mom and her witty tidbits. You must follow her on Instagram for stylish, parenting tips, as she most definitely embodies my Always Be Your Best You philosophy. 

New Mom Mother's Day Musings

Happy Mother’s Day to all the stylish, sexy, & trying to stay sane moms! Oh, and that includes ME.

It is with great honor and joy that I introduce you to my daughter, Ms. Ilana Rose, born April 4, 2013. The past few weeks of motherhood inauguration have been fabulous, fun, occasionally frustrating, but thoroughly fulfilling. I’ve shared, and will continue to share, daily glimpses via my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook channels.


Ms. Ilana Rose

I can’t begin to express the emotions that charge through my body, the happiness that oozes from my pores, the exhaustion that requires major adjustments, the thrill of seeing my husband morph into Super Dad, the blessing of giving my mom her 3^rd grandchild/ my in-laws their 1^st/ & my grandmother her 3^rd great-grand daughter, the urge to constantly clean, the desire to still be desired, the enjoyment of Ilana’s smell … in all forms, the need to get organized, the pain of not being able to share this with my father, the delight of knowing he’s with me through Ilana, the pleasure of a stroll with the stroller, the satisfaction of a content baby you just fed/changed/swaddled and put to bed, the comfort of having a sister who’s done it all … and kept labeled boxes of everything I would need when the time came, the appreciation of under eye cream/concealer/tightening body cream/boob tube/rose water spritz/ etc., the tranquility of sitting in the nursery, the burned fingers from sterilizing bottles, the excitement of fitting into Herve Leger again – oh ya!, the terrifying md.com searches -  never again, the peacefulness of watching Ilana wake up, the fear/fun?!? of sharing my accessories closet, the entertaining milk factory sleepwalking moooo dance, the MIRACLE OF BEING A MOM.


Ms. Ilana Rose and mommy, month one**
**proper bedding from Olio did not arrive at time of this picuter :)

Here’s to the journey ahead, full of, as my gal Lyss of DivaMoms, says “strollers and stilettos”. Or, as I like to put it, may I NeverSurrender my sexuality, style and sassiness regardless of what lies ahead. Wait, is that drool on my Barefoot Dreams robe? Darn it! Ah well, the sexy lace number underneath is more appealing for the hubby anyway . . .